Jewish Christmas

Mommy, can we get a Christmas tree? I asked my then 4 year old son. Apparently a simple question, but I was afraid since my son was born. I was born and raised in Israel. As a kid I used to watch television on Christians to reach their churches in Jerusalem and Bethlehem for services. This is the only exposure to Christian, I had in Israel. No Christmas tree, no gifts, no Santa Claus … when I arrived in the United States in my early twenties, I was amazed and surprised that I went through the holiday season. Nothing I had known before I had prepared for him. The constant flow of chocolate and biscuits to the insurance company I used to work, the madness of shopping, parties, the colors of the poster from Christmas trees, Santa Claus in each store, and Of course the “camaraderie” atmosphere of everyone around me. While the world celebrated Christmas. Or at least so it seems. It was everywhere. We could not avoid it. We could not hide it. But at the same time – I could not participate in all of it either. I did go to a party or two, but it was not my holiday. I have gone through different stages over the years. Initially, I felt very uneasy when people told me: “Merry Christmas”. Everybody just assumed, or took it for granted that you are “one of them” – either Christian or Catholic or any other name that celebrated the birth of Jesus. I felt the need to “fight” – or I would betray myself, my parents, my identity. I used to reply – “I’m Jewish, I do not celebrate Christmas and watch their expression turned into astonishment mixed with pity as they mumbled:” Oh, sorry … “As if it had never occurred to them that there are people who do not celebrate Christmas. I always thought they felt sorry for me not to celebrate Christmas – almost like a flicker of a thought crossed the mind of what their lives would be without Christmas. A thought unbearable … And then there were those who said in a manner of “Oh, excuse mmmeee! I did not know I was accused by wishing you Merry Christmas! ” Over the years, and I had more acclimated to the Christmas season, I began to participate (and appreciating), some of the festivities. I no longer felt the need to “respond” but I remain an outsider in. research was not my holiday. When my son was born I started to celebrate the Jewish holidays. Growing up in a Jewish state, I do not have to do anything in particular to celebrate the holidays. It was everywhere. Everyone around me were Jews. But here it was different. I had to do something to celebrate actively be Jewish. I used to think that freedom of religion including the freedom not to be religious. But when my son was born I wanted him to have an idea of religion, and of course, we need Judaism. We started to light the Menorah on Hanukkah and celebrate Passover with the traditional meal. One day, my son returned from kindergarten singing “Jingle Bells”. It was 4 years and it was the week before Christmas. And then there was the terrible question – “can we have a Christmas tree?”. It is time that “discussion” – no, not one on birds and bees, one on something called “religion”. I sat with him and explained to him that we do not celebrate Christmas because we are Jews. We welcome Hanukkah place. We light the Hanukkah menorah and sing songs instead of decorating a Christmas tree and sing songs. It was a matter of confusion for a 4 year old to grasp. I saw his face change expressions, as it has been processing the information. It was still unclear. What should be done with others? How is it that we can not celebrate both? Yes, Hanukkah, we celebrated last week, but what about Christmas next week? And what that means Santa will not be visiting our house? What about my gifts? Had I not been a good boy all year? … Hmmm. Do not think about it. What do I do now? I posted a question to single mothers group I belong to ask other mom of view. Most responses came from fellow Jewish mothers and emphasized the various ways each celebrated Hanukkah. But this has not always the problem. A Jewish mother, the girl who is half African American, said they celebrate “everything” – Hanukkah, Kwanza, Christmas and others. I liked that idea. It made me think – if what I adapted and started celebrating Christmas, Jewish style? Is this going to work with our religious identity? Are we breaking any religious or ethical rules? Or is it just that uncomfortable “Christmasy” creeping feeling again? And what does it say about the strength of my belief in good and evil? Is it really bad? After much consideration (and nagging my son), I decided to start “celebrating” Christmas, Jewish style. We went to the store and takes a tree, a few decorations, came to the house and eggnog while some decorating of the tree. There were no discussions about Jesus or the meaning of Christmas, but there were presents under the tree from Santa on Christmas morning. My son was ecstatic. He was able to tell anyone who asked (almost everywhere we went) it’s Christmas, instead of having to say – in a dark face – “Santa comes not from our house – we are Jewish … ” or “we do not celebrate Christmas” and get “harm look of everyone around him. And when he grows up he will be able to tell his college buddies on time “he” discovered there was no Santa Claus … Yes, peer pressure is one thing. Although not as powerful as the mother of love for his son